Friday, April 11, 2008

Vowing to...

Become a better blogger!! We'll see how that goes.

So for the updates. Not much. My mom just visited for a week, for Kaya's 3rd birthday, and that was both great and exhausting. I need a vacation from the "vacation". Luckily, we had some really wonderful weather while she was here.

The day before she left, we dug up the front "garden" area and planted pansies and a bleeding heart plant she bought for me at the Olympia Farmer's Market. I *love* bleeding hearts, they remind me of childhood. Kaya helped too. She has little Dora gardening gloves, and a pink plastic trowel and a lavender Dora cultivator. She was quite the helper except she kept filling in the holes my mom had dug. We also put flowers into a big, blue glazed planter that i've had since Okinawa and haven't used yet.

I have so many more plans for the yard area. I can't wait to continue on this project. Green beans and snow peas are going to be planted in the back, as are my pots with herbs. I am still searching for a copper birdfeeder to hang in the tree in the front yard. So far, no luck with the exception of a $70 one I found at Smith and Hawken online. I think not. I don't like birds that much.

I also found the best store for scrapbooking supplies, Ben Franklin crafts up in Bonney Lake. I could have spent hours in there, pouring over all the paper and stamps and other adornments. Too bad my husband and two kids were waiting for me in the car while I "ran in a checked it out for a minute". I think I was in there for a little over a minute. I'll have to really get to it and start this cookbook project i've been wanting to do forever.

That's about all for now. It's spring and i'm happy! A little sunshine in this grey, rainy state will do that!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Things My Dad Taught Me

This is always a hard month for me. Many people, especially women, look forward to February because it means Valentine's Day. A day of gifts, quiet dinners, romance. I haven't looked forward to February since I was about 9 years old and last year gave me another reason to dread it.

Soon it will be one year since my Dad passed away from Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome, a direct complication of bi-lateral pneumonia.

It was a harsh reality to face. We had prepared ourselves as much as we could for this outcome, but from something totally different. He had been diagnosed with Hodgin's Lymphoma stage 3 or 4 months earlier, and had gone through months of chemotherapy. Before you feel too sorry for him, he was the one person who breezed through treatment. It never affected him like most cancer patients. He never got sick or weak, his appetite was usually raging by the end of a chemo session and usually he had much energy to spare. In the end, I think the tolerance of the chemo was the reason for the pneunomia. He never wanted to live like a sick person, and the lack of feeling sick made him go about his business like usual. Going to Milwaukee, Chicago.. going out to eat with my Mom. Going out in public too often had to be the reason for the end illness.

He got a clean bill of health around Christmas of 2006, right around the time after Hali was born. We were all so happy, we thought we were out of the woods. Then February came and we were all blindsided. By the end of February, he was gone.

I have said this before and this has stuck in my head ever since. I always thought my Dad was old. Then he died and I thought he was much too young.

He should have had many years left. He should have seen Kaya and Hali well in to their teens. He should have seen Hali, period. He never got to see her in person and this lingers in my mind every day. Kaya was such a joy to him, such a light. With Kaya, I saw a side of my Dad I never even knew existed. It is utterly unfair that he never got to hold Hali, to see her in all her curly-haired, dimpled glory. It is unfair he never got to see the two polar opposites that are my children, together, playing. I think about this almost everyday.

But I digress.

I thing a lot about the good things, the lasting things. I have thought of some strange random things that I am grateful for. Here are some.

I love to cook. There is no doubt in my mind this love stemmed from my first cooking lesson, which was my Dad teaching me how to poach an egg, probably at about age 7 or 8. My mom is an ok cook, but she is no Julia Child. My Dad on the other hand, when he did cook, would create. I watched him pick and choose the spices he thought would work the best in whatever dish he was making. I watched him watching the pot...literally! And he always cooked for an Army, which I have to say stuck with me. I am notorious for making waaaaaay too much food. I believe I am incapable of making small amounts. It must be a genetic trait. He always said that people should always have more than enough to eat, rather than worry about not being able to eat whatever they want. It really stuck. Ask Kevin.

I am grateful that I asked, shortly after I was married, for his recipes for my favorite things. Those two recipes were for his baked beans with salt pork and for cream chipped beef (otherwise known in the military as S.O.S.- shit on a shingle).

I learned great respect for this country and our military from my Dad. It was DRILLED into me from a very young age that we should be grateful for what we have here, even if it is very imperfect sometimes. The one thing I remember him saying many times throughout my life is, "Being a soldier is the most honorable job a man can have." And he meant it. The military was to be respected, cherished, honored. They lay their lives on the line for a mostly thankless job than not everyone is cut out to do. The good, professional soliders do their duty regardless of their personal stance on the issues. What a coincidence I married a soldier.

I learned that you better damn well respect the flag of this country as well. I remember full and well being reemed out by my Dad when I was playing with a small flag and I let it touch the ground in his sight. Oooh... I never made that mistake again!!

I learned that voting is our privilege, our right, our duty as citizens of the United States. It may not always work out in our favor but not doing it would be just plain stupid.

I learned how to curl paper on scissors from him.

I learned that guns are not toys. You see so many incidents of children- both younger and older, shooting themselves, or others when playing with guns. I would have NEVER dared to play with any of my Dad's, even though I knew they were within my reach. I was more afraid of my Dad than I was any gun. I think I would have rather shot myself than have my Dad find out I was messing with his guns! He was his own gun safety.

I learned plenty more, much to much to list here, but I wanted to share somethings that stick out in my mind.

February will no doubt be a tough month for me again, but I smile in the happy memories and I feel good knowing that some things my Dad taught me stuck. And like Maja says- I know I will see him again.

Miss you Dad.

Friday, January 4, 2008

Sick of being sick!

Ok that's enough already. I've had enough of blowing my nose, not being able to sleep at night because I can't breathe through my nose, sinus headaches, dry skin and lips, coughing, no sense of smell, a muted sense of taste.. so on and so forth. UGH! I've been sick since right around Christmas and I'm tired of it. I quit!! I quit being sick!!!

Dang. Didn't work. I have to go blow my nose again.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

This makes me furious

I keep up with news at home through the local paper online. Over Thanksgiving, a story broke about two young men that were found dead in an apartment, no sign of trauma. I told Kevin right after I read it that I guessed drugs were the culprit. One of the men was a soldier home on leave from the Iraqi War.

Yesterday, they reported that a heroin overdose killed the man in the Army. It made me so mad, for several reasons. Firstly, this man was buried shortly after his death, with full military honors. I realized they can't exactly hold off to wait for toxicology reports to come back, but he deserved no such honor in my opinion. He may have been a great soldier, and yes, he served in Iraq, but when you make such a selfish, stupid choice to do such a horrific drug- especially while under contract by the U.S. Military- well, no honor should come to you. Soldiers take an oath, to serve this country honorably, in uniform and out. You are held to a higher standard. You are more accountable for your actions. You represent this country. Not to mention you stand the chance of wrecking your whole future if you get caught, a dishonorable discharge will follow you around the rest of your life. It isn't like getting fired from a job, it's more like having a criminal record.

This man had a family. He had a child. Why?? It was only a matter of time before that article got a comment wondering if things he had experienced in Iraq had pushed him to use drugs to "forget". Ok- well I can understand experiencing the unimaginable during war. I still cannot understand why choose to use drugs.

If there is one thing that I have learned while being married into the military, is that help is around every corner. They provide more resources for any kind of help than any civilian job or insurance coverage I have ever heard of. And not only is it free of charge to the soldier, they remind you constantly that it is there. I am sure even moreso when you are in a combat zone. I, as a military wife, have gotten help in a heartbeat. (not for drugs! lol- for other things) I know, as only a spouse, how much help is out there. That is how much they let you know. In Okinawa, where we only had AFN channels to watch on TV, there were no commercials, so they ran historical facts and local facts and information on military services in turn. Many of those commercials revolved around resources for help whether it be gambling, abuse, substance abuse, emotional help... so on.

It disgusts me that someone who should have been representing our country honorably, died doing such a selfish thing. And his family, his child have been left to pay the price.

Things that are "normal" to me

Being married to the military is exciting, terrifying, exhausting and stressful. It is also quite a privilege. My Dad was completely right. Only certain people are cut out for it. I was thinking the other night, about things in my life that are "normal" that in the civilian world are not. Here are a few of them...

-I have fallen asleep many a night to the sound of artillery booming in the distance
-I have passed convoys of humvees while on my way to the grocery store
-I move every 3 years or so
-I need to show ID to get to my home
-When my husband goes on "business trips" he can be gone for months
-On these "business trips", I have heard live gunfire while on the phone with him
-My husband can't always come home and tell me what happened at work
-My husband gets up some mornings and practices hand to hand combat
-I see and hear military aircrafts flying overhead quite often
-Near my house, there is a motor pool and barracks
-in your neighborhood, are there street signs that say "Stryker Dismount Point"??

It is an interesting life, that is for sure.

Friday, December 14, 2007

How the heck...

My kitchen is a mess. It looks like the dirty dish tornado ripped through here. How does this happen, exactly, when it is just me and two very small other people in this house right now?? I am not cooking full meals, so the dishes should be minimal. I usually give Kaya breakfast and lunch on paper plate as well so I am just not understanding what is going on in here. Thank goodness for dishwashers though, without it, I would be screaming and asking to be committed.

On a happier kitchen note, our new microwave arrived today. Behold the beauty and power of the newest member to our Cuisinart stainless steel small kitchen electric family. And finally, we have a microwave with an actual microwave plate in it. Not our sad version of a dinner plate on the rotating wheel. I can finally make popcorn again without starting a fire!!

Let's just hope a coyote doesn't pee on this one. (This is a true statement and if you don't know the story just ask)

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Happy Birthday Hali-Bear!!







My little Hali-bear is one!!! I cannot believe how time flew. This has been one rollercoaster of a year, and I am so glad it is about two weeks away from being done. But today I celebrate my little munchkin's birthday. I am so lucky to have two beautiful little girls, healthy and happy. I cherish each and every second I get with them, even if sometimes they make me want to pull my hair out.

Love you babies :) And Happy birthday Hal-bear!